// Ian meets…. the retarded postman//

A challenging experience with the postman..

Now don’t get me wrong my posties are brilliant but this one, well lets just say I have no clue how he got or keeps the job.

Please note his replies where in a slow drawl, so slow that were he a car it would take 3 miles for him to stop after seeing a red light!

Buzzer rings, I pick up handset and tell him to come in when I buzz, 5 mins later he still hasn’t come in. I have to resort to shouting to tell him I cant come to the door he will have to come in. maybe he thought the voice from the box in the wall was one of the ones in his head?
He has a signed for package so asks me to print my name, I tell him I cant so he offers to fill it in for me and then…. wait for it… he asks me what my name is.. I tell him there’s a huge clue on the address label that’s on the parcel.
He then tells me I should “keep up your hopes… think of Christopher reeve”, I reply I don’t think he’s cause for much hope.. “whys that” comes the reply.. me - well he’s fucking dead for starters mate!!
He then goes to leave, WITH the parcel he came in to deliver, I had to actually tell him he was supposed to leave it.
Then to cap it all he walks across my front garden to the patio door and rings the buzzer there..
“is this number X?” me-no its number XX, “oh I think I just saw you,” me - you only think you just saw me?, “oh yeah I did, thanks”.
I was really struggling to not laugh, and slightly worried they are letting him drive!