// The Unfuckables club//
There’s a new club you get to join when your disabled, no one tells you about it or that your a member, you find out for yourself as time goes on.
I call it “the unfuckables club”.
You see to most when you become disabled, be it physically or mentally you also become sexless.
Society and officialdom seems to have a real problem dealing with the fact that not only do you think about sex, but that you might want to continue to have sex, its like a taboo subject that no one wants to talk about or do anything to help enable you to continue/have a sex life.
My own experience when dealing with different departments has in some cases shocked me.
I can remember when we where trying to get the special profiling bariatric bed I needed sorted out, there was an automatic assumption that I would require a single sized bed, this assumption also applies to those who are married or in a relationship.
When I questioned the occupational therapist on the issue she said “well its not like your going to be having sex again is it?” when I replied yes I damn well was,she replied “how?”, of course I fired back very quickly with “do you want me to tell you or are you gonna get in so I can show you”.
I had to fight tooth and nail to get a double sized bed and each step of the way had to go through the humiliation of explaining why I should be entitled to have a sex life and how I would manage to have one.
Then you face the public’s attitude, now I know I’m no oil painting and I’m on the wrong side of what is perceived as “wrinkly” for many these days but I’m not that ugly, I’m not deformed, I have no bits missing and everything still works very well thank you.
Yet people automatically discount you because you are disabled with one of the worst assumptions being that you want someone to look after you.
Hell no we don’t!! we have carer’s who take care of that side of our lives.
What we want is fun with a capital F, some want love and tenderness others just want the same as you guys, someone to both bang the shit out of and who will bang the shit out of them, just good old glorious no holds bared,dirty, filthy, messy sex!
I have other friends who have experienced similar and it must be as frustrating for them as it is me, in fact I know that it is.
I’m fast coming to the conclusion that as a member of the unfuckables club our only solution is to pay for our pleasure, but you know what? I really don’t want that and don’t think we should have too.
I’ve also seen dating clubs for the disabled, but hello!! two disabled people together? your just gonna end up with a tangled mess that they cant get themselves out of!! that’s if they can do anything in the first place apart from bump wheel chairs! you cant exactly have carers standing by to move them into the next position while another moves their hips for them.
What they really need is an able bodied partner who can do everything they cant do, for them (sex & intimacy wise).
I won’t give up, I know that, but some days you do feel like giving up.
But this is not so much going “woah is me, life sucks, I ain’t getting any” but more about raising an issue that no one really thinks about and breaking the taboo.